Home

Advertisement

Customize
as seaglass...
For the ocean, nothing is beneath consideration.
...The process goes on forever: they came from sand, they go back to gravel, along with the treasuries of Murano, the buttressed astonishments of Chartres, which even now are readying for being turned over and over as gravely and gradually as an intellect engaged in the hazardous redefinition of structures no one has yet looked at.

Outside of LJ Readables... The Coolest Li'l bro The BJ experience Musings of a Manatee A Calm Tempest...
Current Month
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031
Aug. 24th, 2006 @ 11:52 pm distractability, a bottle of water and renewed energy
Current Location: computer desk
i feel: good
i hear: Joga Bjork
I have recently fell for Bjork. No joke. I still have LSD-like flashbacks of the video she had out back when I was in highschool...something with a huge moth and a teddybear. At any rate, I tend to be slow on the uptake of the more pop-y music fads, Bjork being no exception. So when I started listening to a mix made for me back when I was studying for the boards and moved through the Portishead (also good, but not independent of the most memorable experience I heard it in so difficult to tell if I like it for its own sake) into the Bjork sections and actually listened...and...damn, it's beautiful. I've been listening to Joga (see lyrics below) on repeat for a couple days now, even during my opiate run to CVS the other day (ah, a story for another time, perhaps) it was just the most soothing way to let go of the anxiety that I had somehow enveloped into myself from my patients. I need to learn how to deal with that better. At any rate, I needed to put these in a place to remember, and figured I might as well share them although I do realize this is a poor excuse for a post. I also figure that since I haven't really written in a long time, there is little anticipation surrounding such things :)
I just find Bjork's style so fascinating. The lyrics to this particular song also strike me in the same way Tori Amos talked about "Case of You"...when I actually read them, I felt like they just described this state so perfectly...so...so...in that e.e. cummnings kind of way, in a sense...simple with a flavor of the profound.
And I'm in such a good mood despite having a lousy day...I'm mostly crediting Ari and $50 worth of sushi right now, and the excitement of change soon to occur. Either way, I need to get back to studying for tomorrow's shelf exam, but before I curl up on the couch with my CaseFiles and a package of sno-caps, I will leave you with this, and encourage the Itunes download. It's worth the $.99

All these accidents,
That happen,
Follow the dot,
Coincidence,
Makes sense,
Only with you,
You don't have to speak,
I feel.

Emotional landscapes,
They puzzle me,
Then the riddle gets solved,
And you push me up to this

State of emergency,
How beautiful to be,
State of emergency,
Is where I want to be.

All that no-one sees,
You see,
What's inside of me,
Every nerve that hurts,
You heal,
Deep inside of me, oo-oohh,
You don't have to speak,
I feel.

Emotional landscapes,
They puzzle me - confuse,
Then the riddle gets solved,
And you push me up to this

State of emergency,
How beautiful to be,
State of emergency,
Is where I want to be.

State of emergency,
How beautiful to be,

Emotional landscapes,
They puzzle me,
Then the riddle gets solved,
And you push me up to this

State of emergency,
How beautiful to be,
State of emergency,
Is where I want to be.
hood
2 comments
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Jul. 30th, 2006 @ 10:13 am perhaps a real post
i feel: reflective
i hear: Your Love is a One in a Million --Aliayah
it's sunday morning of a switch weekend -- i have printed out papers and papers on HIPAA and infectious disease controls and a quick glossary of medical spanish in anticipation of my upcoming sites. I was incredibly saddened by leaving on Friday; my friends who have been through this already give me jaded looks and make fun of me...turns out you're *not* supposed to grow attached to patients. particularly on the psych ward.

but i have found a space in the medical world that i enjoy, shall bookmark it for the time being and move on with an open mind. i've learned a lot from the depressed 14 year olds and borderline 16 year olds and psychotic 17 year olds and PDD 9 year olds and saw my own fears shift into focus as a patients weapons were found and he pulled out a cord in front of me muttering about strangling people to death. i watched my idealism sink as patients that were once thriving were given a sort-of medical sedation in the form of high-dose antipsychotics but then got to feel that same idealism bob to the surface again at seeing a boy who a couple weeks prior could see no purpose in life enough to try to end it, smile. i learned how life experiences shapes all of us and the myriad of different ways we learn to cope...and how these manners of coping can box us in to making the same mistakes again and again.

it's all fascinating, and i was blessed to be with an attending with whom i could immediately bond over our npr-listening and sushi-eating ways (much to my surprise), and to be able to go through this experience with a few good friends who i could depend on (and vice-versa) for support in the more murky experiences of the month.

end result of month one? mentally holding a place in child/adolescent psychiatry to check out some more next year...and the mixed feelings of fear and excitement that i just may find something i love about each rotation.
umbrella
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Jul. 30th, 2006 @ 09:54 am mmm, pretty.......
...to waking up:

Light, At Thirty-Two
-Michael Blumenthal

It is the first thing God speaks of
when we meet Him, in the good book
of Genesis. And now, I think
I see it all in terms of light:

How, the other day at dusk
on Ossabaw Island, the marsh grass
was the color of the most beautiful hair
I had ever seen, or how—years ago
in the early-dawn light of Montrose Park—
I saw the most ravishing woman
in the world, only to find, hours later
over drinks in a dark bar, that it
wasn't she who was ravishing,
but the light: how it filtered
through the leaves of the magnolia
onto her cheeks, how it turned
her cotton dress to silk, her walk
to a tour-jeté.

And I understood, finally,
what my friend John meant,
twenty years ago, when he said: Love
is keeping the lights on. And I understood
why Matisse and Bonnard and Gauguin
and Cézanne all followed the light:
Because they knew all lovers are equal
in the dark, that light defines beauty
the way longing defines desire, that
everything depends on how light falls
on a seashell, a mouth ... a broken bottle.

And now, I'd like to learn
to follow light wherever it leads me,
never again to say to a woman, YOU
are beautiful, but rather to whisper:
Darling, the way light fell on your hair
this morning when we woke—God,
it was beautiful. Because, if the light is right,
then the day and the body and the faint pleasures
waiting at the window ... they too are right.
All things lovely there. As that first poet wrote,
in his first book of poems: Let there be light.
umbrella
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
May. 19th, 2006 @ 10:13 pm click and be touched by a noodly appendage

WWFSMD?

i kinda want a sticker.
umbrella
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Feb. 1st, 2006 @ 09:59 pm groundhog day eve
i feel: tired
i hear: Soul Meets Body Death Cab for Cutie
Happy Lunar New Year, and Groundhog's Day Eve!

I haven't updated in awhile...things have been really crazy in a lot of ways. But I caught up on reading and you're all so beautiful and interesting and thank you for writing things & sharing your lives and etc. :)

So in a nutshell:

My apartment is in continual flux with a new company taking charge of the building and not doing anything with that new-found control except for increasing our rent (and doubling my parking fees!)

My cat had surgery and her biopsy came back with a mast cell tumor. I am hoping it's a one-time deal, we're experiencing the joy of post-surgery medications and putting my foot down with vets.

I passed another semester (yay!) but i continue my love-hate relationship with med school. We're currently on the kidney, so that is all I "know" for the time being. I attended a rather interesting talk on being a pro-choice physician today...lots of things to file away in my list of possibilities for when I grow up. I still *heart* infectious disease (yes, you read that correctly). I'm psyched to add it as an elective.

My entire philosophy/beliefs on relationships have been turned around...well, perhaps not that dramatic, but a lot in part due to some welcome surprises, there were some unexpected breakthroughs/realizations and I'm in a rather good place at the moment with that. As a side note, I've also decided, a'la The Unbearable Lightness of Being combined with the experience of it, that just about the sweetest thing a guy can do is hold your hand as you sleep. Strange, yes, I know. Nonetheles...

Follies band with its associated time-suckage will start soon. I miss music terribly; I rekindled my love with the piano over Christmas break, and have been unable to give it the attention it deserves. I've been fiddling about with an acapella group at school but due to time constraints don't think that will be a lasting relationship.

I think I've set Gilmore Girls aside for the time being to focus my limited study break tv time on Sex & The City. I've also discovered "Lush" and the resultant amazing, sparkly bubble baths. I'm ****dying**** for a concert. A *good* concert. A 'I will completely lose myself in the music' concert. If anyone knows of any such things, give me a shout-out. I was introduced to "Death Cab for Cutie" (I know, I know, another late find, just like me and my love affair with Radiohead) and have fallen in love all over again. Bjork's new CD is pretty fabulous as well...all acapella. Fun.

I also found the best sushi place in DC. This is serious. I went with my friend Jeff last Sunday and am still daydreaming about it. I mean, I've been sushi-deprived thanks to my broke-ness (I think the last time was post-finals?) but this was amazing. Sushi Ko. If you are within a plane ride of it, you must give it a visit.

Beyond that I'm just biding time until spring break when I get to visit Jordan in London :) Hey, is it March yet?

OK, a bath and my renal notes/highlighters are calling. Send me updates! I miss my non-medschool world, and am sorry for my going into hiding! 2nd year is all they said it would be...
umbrella
3 comments
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Dec. 17th, 2005 @ 09:29 am hour follows hour
i feel: melancholy
i hear: ani...
hour follows hour
like water follows water
everything is governed by the rule
of one thing leads to another
you can't really place blame
cuz blame is much too messy
some was bound to get on you
while you were trying to put it on me
and don't fool yourself
into thinking things are simple
nobody's lying still the stories don't line up
why do you try to hold on
to what you'll never get a hold on
you wouldn't try to put the ocean
in a paper cup
cuz i have had something to prove
as long as i know there's something
that needs improvement
and you know that every time i move
i make a woman's movement
and first you decide
what you've gotta do
then you go out and do it
and maybe the most we can do
is just to see each other through it
hour follows hour like water in a river
and from one to the next
we don't know what each hour will deliver
we just call it like we see it
call it out loud as we can
and then afterwards we call it all water over the dam
maybe the moral higher ground
ain't as high as it seems
maybe we are both good people
done some bad things
i just hope it was okay
i know it wasn't perfect
i hope in the end we can laugh
and say it was all worth it
cuz i have had something to prove
as long as i know something
that needs improvement
and you know that everytime i move
i make a woman's movement
and first you decide what you've gotta do
then you go out and do it
and maybe the most that we can do
is just to see each other through it
we make our own gravity to give weight to things
then things fall and they break and gravity sings
we can only hold so much is what i figure
try and keep our eye on the big picture
picture keeps getting bigger
and too much is how i love you
but too well is how i know you
and i've got nothing to prove this time
just something to show you
i guess i just wanted you to see
that it was all worth it to me
hood
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Dec. 10th, 2005 @ 07:45 pm thank you...
i know this is kinda a lame way to do it, but in lieu of shouting it from the top of my building where the people i want to hear it most won't be able to hear me, i just want to send an extra-special shout-out to my incredible friends. i am continually amazed at how kindly, patiently and without question/judgement you are able to be there for me as i go through the craziness that is finals week and one anxiety-provoking situation to another. i am sending all the love in the world to you, and hope you can feel it :)

now back to pharm...

one week until 1st semester 2nd year is over....a-mazing.
umbrella
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Nov. 23rd, 2005 @ 02:03 am the start of thankfulness week...
i feel: caffinated
i hear: girlyman in my head
thank you universe for providing me with opportunity time and time again to learn patience, and how to relax into situations that i cannot control.

*sigh*

i'm working on it.
hood
3 comments
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Nov. 20th, 2005 @ 02:30 pm i like...
i feel: a bit annoyed/apprehensive...
i hear: singing Girlyman's On The Air as I type...
Monet Refuses The Operation
--Lisa Mueller


Doctor, you say there are no haloes
around the streetlights in Paris
and what I see is an aberration
caused by old age, an affliction
I tell you it has taken me all my life
to arrive at the vision of gas lamps as angels,
to soften and blur and finally banish
the edges you regret I don't see,
to learn that the line I called the horizon
does not exist and sky and water,
so long apart, are the same state of being.
Fifty-four years before I could see
Rouen cathedral is built
of parallel shafts of sun,
and now you want to restore
my youthful errors: fixed
notions of top and bottom,
the illusion of three-dimensional space,
wisteria separate
from the bridge it covers.
What can I say to convince you
the Houses of Parliament dissolves
night after night to become
the fluid dream of the Thames?
I will not return to a universe
of objects that don't know each other,
as if islands were not the lost children
of one great continent. The world
is flux, and light becomes what it touches,
becomes water, lilies on water,
above and below water,
becomes lilac and mauve and yellow
and white and cerulean lamps,
small fists passing sunlight
so quickly to one another
that it would take long, streaming hair
inside my brush to catch it.
To paint the speed of light!
Our weighted shapes, these verticals,
burn to mix with air
and change our bones, skin, clothes
to gases. Doctor,
if only you could see
how heaven pulls earth into its arms
and how infinitely the heart expands
to claim this world, blue vapor without end.

cocao
3 comments
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Oct. 25th, 2005 @ 01:33 am shocker.
i feel: good
i hear: blackalicious
ok, a brief, and i mean *brief* update...

school is good, crazy, learning lots and banging my head against a wall lots but overall i'm just the right amount of insane to be...well, nearly enjoying it :)

currently up in ct, about to fall asleep, going to my bro's confirmation tomorrow.

everything else is a variation of what it was...

and really, the reason i'm posting:

Your Life is Like

High Fidelity
umbrella
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Sep. 5th, 2005 @ 09:06 pm perhaps it is the end...
...It was a love that one day might be lost, but that is always the risk we take in loving...

It's about 3 weeks into fall semester of my 2nd year of medical school. The reading for our first "Doctor, Patient and Society" class from The Measure of Our Days has me moved to tears. I think they select the readings to do that; it works better on an over-stressed, sleep-deprived individual, but when I become that person I rarely have time to do these readings. At any rate, while I cannot pretend to empathize with Cindy, the AIDS patient in the story, nor the many people who have said much more significant and unexpected good-byes in the past few weeks particularly, the concept of "goodbyes" strikes a somber chord with me right now.

After hugging Ali and Vivek good-bye earlier this summer, I felt the need to immediately distract myself...fortunately that afternoon being able to do so in the arms of a good friend with a good movie, but the pain of distance remains despite the distractions. Saying goodbye to Jordan today was somehow surreal as we have lived within hugging distance for as long as we've been friends, and I've taken for granted this would continue even as we went our separate ways. I didn't account for an entire ocean disrupting that. The goodbyes signaled necessary shifts in the momentum of our lives and are very positive in very many ways -- I do not wish to detract from that...but having loved ones far away is always difficult.

But then, the concept of love -- I suppose this summer has had its moments of honesty...of telling those I love or that I was falling for exactly that...not always that relationship-y kind of love, but that of the closeness of family or dearly trusted friends. In some cases I suppose this led unexpectedly to unspoken endings. Again, inherent in such an ending is the sadness and rejected feelings, but the absolute-glowing-happiness at realizing my own capability to feel such love was worth the hurt of rejection. And the possibility of someone else knowing they are loved I think...well, suffice it to say fear is not a worthy reason to keep those who I feel such positive things for in the dark, even if there isn't a concrete reason to express that love or direction for it to move in. Once I get over my own feelings of vulnerability, I realize it's just a nice thing to know and feel, so why the hell not be honest about it and allow someone to feel that way? To hope, to love...truly what makes life worthwhile.

A few days ago marked the anniversary of my Grandpop's birthday. He passed away my freshman year of college, and I found the card I received from him and my Grammy on the same day that I heard the news he had died. I read the saved poetry that he had written for me at crucial times throughout my life...all sparked by the letter I received in the mail from Grammy with details of Grandpop's time in the Army during WWII. In essence, a "final" good-bye that turns out not to be so as he remains constantly in my thoughts and prayers...in a way he feels closer than when he was a 4-hour drive away. Perhaps goodbyes are not endings, then.

So what of goodbyes, and what of love...? I think any further words right now would cheapen my thoughts on the matter, I feel things getting confused and muddled through words, already.

Finally, I know I've been remiss in updating this journal and think I'm going to leave it be. This may change after hours cooped up in the library with no social outlets, but for now I would prefer personal interaction over mass informing. I fear things I've written in the past were taken the wrong way by the wrong people, and don't want this to be a passive-agressive form of communication.
Anyway, we'll see...perhaps this is merely a phase and a new year's hope to being more productive and less distracted by my computer! Pharmacology, pathology, microbio and infectious disease, and psychopathology are unforgiving in the time they require...and who knows what else this new start will bring...

~peace~
umbrella
3 comments
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Aug. 8th, 2005 @ 07:49 am monday morning
so as it turns out, you can't fit chicago into a week...

...but it is definitely fun to try :)
umbrella
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Jul. 24th, 2005 @ 04:05 pm jigsaw
so it seems life is constantly about change...holes are left in places that functionally may get filled to a certain extent, but maybe that are not filled in emotional terms. so, it feels like we are all walking jigsaw puzzles with pieces that don't fit quite right.
hood
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Jul. 21st, 2005 @ 11:09 am living high fidelity
i feel: productive
i hear: kingdom for a heart sonata arctica
my apartment feels to closed in, too cluttered. i have been frustrated and overwhelmed by the task of cleaning out and started a week ago on my bookshelves. i was able to cut my folders from undergrad in half, having a few main categories:
1. musical didactic tools saved for the day i inevitably become a music teacher
2. marine bio stuff that i will reference when i blank out on basic facts and freak out
3. ego boosting materials
4. russian lit that makes for an enjoyable read
5. sentimental crap

i've discovered a major cleaning out is kinda like doing one of those little puzzles when you move around the squares to get numbers in order when there's only one space to move one square at a time -- you know, the cheap plastic ones you could get out of restaurant wishing wells when you were a kid. so rather than being overwhelmed, i realize that everything is a chain reaction. as soon as i finish the bookshelf, the others will quickly follow after, and then the pile of music that sits in a crate in between my bookshelves, my computer desks, etc.

however, i suck at focusing on one thing at a time so i have moved on to my CD collection. very tempting to pull a high fidelity and arrange them autobiographically...but maaan. that would be kinda...depressing. i realized that all the dopey guys in my life who have disappointed me have also introduced me to awesome music and once i can strip their remnants from each album, i appreciate their presence in my life for that purpose, if nothing else. but to go back and think of where each album has its place in my life, while yes, strangely comforting, would also be maddening.

sooo, at the moment i'm taking a break from the looming CD project (all CDs are now arranged alphabetically into pop/rock, prog, folk, classical, jazz, personal compilations, soundtracks, ambient/world) and having my breakfast of kix & apple jax while listening to last night's tower impulse buy which i substantiated by my general grouchiness towards my parents for being hurtfully stand-offish these past couple weeks. for what it's worth, music works. i'm feeling much better.

painting also has amazing therapeutic value. i need to do that more often.

back to the cleaning :)
cocao
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Jul. 17th, 2005 @ 09:16 pm Candy Manhole
i feel: happy
i hear: david duchovney (in my head)
Tags: ,
...is back after a fun-filled weekend in Kentucky. In all seriousness, the weekend surpassed my expectations and we had an incredible amount of fun. There is a laundry list of funny experiences and jokes and phrases and the like that I suppose all occur along a road-trip/wedding weekend which 4 girls spend bonding which I will likely type in to retain for all posterity. in all honesty, i'm exhausted and about to flop onto my couch with something to eat but i shall sign out with a link to the world's largest teapot. we discovered this thanks to a newspaper we picked up in west virginia when we stopped for food...according to the article (which provided entertainment from west virginia into maryland, mind you) this teapot is in fact taller than the great wall of china!

the great wall of china (i just looked it up) is 25 feet high. i will refrain from making totally snarky comments about using this as a comparison for height being that even the bank of china in hong kong is taller at 1209 feet...and i'm guessing the majority of the readers of this local paper do not have a clear image in their minds to use as a reference.

yeah. i nearly peed my pants while reading this article.

anyway, more to come. i think i'm still getting over my hangover from this weekend....
umbrella
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Jul. 13th, 2005 @ 09:12 am It's a Hershey's Chocolate World...
i feel: tired
i hear: Sigur Ros Fluggufelsarinn
Ah. My apartment is a wreck...haven't slept in my bed for the past 4 nights because there's stuff all over it which may or may not directly have lead to the head/neck-ache i woke up with. augh.

Sooo yesterday was a very fun Jodan's birthday :) We hit up Hershey...and I don't know how it's possible but I forgot how much I love roller coasters...and tilt-a-whirls...and water rides...and amusement parks in general. And there was chocolate AND we found the really yummy italian place for dinner that I've gone to with my family in the past. It was a perfect sunny and not crowded day. *And* I was tall enough to ride all the rides. Really, what more matters? :)

Sadly, I am still yawning as I type right now. We're soo getting old...we were exhausted by the drive home.

Today, apparently, needs to be much more productive -- cleaning this am. and then a meeting about big sib stuff and then picking up my step-mom at the train station and then a late mcsc meeting and perhaps some jazz to follow or perhaps not...I can't believe I leave for Kentucky in a few days! I still need to find a dress and I think an alter-ego who enjoys weddings. This will be the first in recent memory which I will not have flute in hand. I will seriously not know what to do with myself.

Well anyway, I should get moving. I'll leave you with the words of wisdom I was reminded of yesterday:

Hershey's chocolate, Hershey's chocolate it's a Hershey's chocolate world....if you're the travelling kind...wherever you roam...you'll always find...a friend from home...Hershey's chocolate...real milk chocolate (Hershey!) the great American chocolate bar...
umbrella
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Jul. 12th, 2005 @ 09:03 am gak II
i feel: uncomfortable
i hear: fair ben folds
i had good intentions of writing when i got home last night. it was the final irtapella party and it was sad although i don't think i realize quite yet i won't be seeing over half the people from the group ever again nor will we ever sing together as we were again. i suppose it's good and bad. time to move on...and yet the group was definitely a comfort and a fantastic musical release throughout a really tough year. besides which, i should look on the bright side that a few of the people i have become really close with will be sticking around. not that i'll have the time to spend with anyone next year, apparently *sigh*

it seems like the crap associated with school is starting early -- after leaving various messages trying to get in touch with people, finding out *just* the day before that we have a meeting tomorrow. a hundred emails back and forth over what should be a simple task. i practically don't want to check my email anymore since i know i will be met with 20 emails on the same topic when i *do* check. why is basic communication and respect so difficult???! anyway, i don't want to end up ranting about this. it is summer. there is no need to feel stress right now.

but back to last night...being generally sad as i drove down wisconsin ave. towards home...paying special attention to the guy sitting by himself on the front steps next to the only 24 hr diner-typed place in georgetown and curious what his story was...smiling thinly at the most likely drunk guy waving me towards the bar he was going into...thinking how coldplay and ben folds' missing the war were good driving away music (driving away from what? i'm not entirely sure...something about missed opportunities and bittersweet reserve). more and more i realize my own fears are getting in the way of something potentially great...ah, i'm just not ready. or something. mmph.

anyway i'm now shifting gears to happy-going-to-amusement-park jacquie and leaving all that behind. just needed to get it out :)
hood
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Jul. 10th, 2005 @ 09:39 am of course this is what i would take away from the day...
i feel: excited
i hear: io parto
...this entry is prefaced by the disclaimer that i am a HUUUUGE dork.

so, jordan and i went to a phillies game yesterday for his bday. it was fan-tab-u-lous. despite getting stuck in traffic on I-95, we made it there in the 3rd inning? maybe 4th. i don't totally remember, but we made it in time for a 0-0 game against the nationals that the phills won in the final inning with 1 out, bases loaded...ah. it was exciting! and i came to the conclusion (with more than a little help from jord) that i must remain a philadelphia fan even if i have lived in dc for quite some time now. my loyalties must remain with PA. especially if i keep going to games in philadelphia and don't want to get beer poured all over me. gak. anyway, the stadium is really beautiful and quite the switch from vet stadium. but then we chilled on south street and a good time was had by all.

but yes, my dork moment. so i was standing in line for the bathroom after the game, listening to the tolling of the liberty bell as they do at the end of a winning game and trying to isolate the note of the liberty bell from all the background music/noise. i found that i mentally kept dropping the note a third which i assumed to be "C" and then realizing it was a minor 3rd, i figured the liberty bell must toll an E-flat. then i decided this was incredibly silly because i never had perfect pitch and despite my best attempts probably wasn't *really* hearing a "C" in my head for comparison. and then we were on our way to getting dinner and there was this snapple billboard on the side of 95...one of those with the fun facts under the lid of the snapple caps and this fun fact happened to be "did you know the liberty bell tolls an E-flat..." to which i screamed out "THAT'S SO AWESOME!!!" much to the shagrin of my passenger who was like "Wha--"

And I double checked online here and...okay. well, the stadium might not be that accurate, but i shall go on thinking as much. cuz to me, this is very cool.

anyway, i should get showered and such for dim sum con el vegi trio :)
umbrella
4 comments
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Jul. 8th, 2005 @ 11:42 pm woot
I'm going to Chicago!!!

Yay. I have my tickets, like, fo' real. So excited.

In other news, I learned what "dialate" means in case you read the angsty Ani lyrics in the previous post. Keep in mind I'm not feeling that angsty, I just really like those lyrics. Each verse kinda has its own place in my past or with someone from my past, true, but I don't think I've ever felt it all at once.
Anyway, I learned that dialate doesn't just mean to expand which makes the whole song make so much more sense.

OK. Malts and Gilmore Girls time.

Oy, I'm such a girl sometimes.
umbrella
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Jul. 8th, 2005 @ 12:42 am gurl muzak
i feel: upset
i hear: still Ayreon...
"...on this tragic day..." keeps running through my head. dogs are good therapy. it was so grey today. why has the world become this way...i'd say why london, but why anywhere? are there words? yeah, it's sad. it's tragic. it's a fucking mess. i've got nothing. i could make no connections today, i could feel my heart racing when my lack of phone service reminded me all too clearly of the night of sept. 10 and the foreshadowing and the parallels and why do i need to compare to understand.

i have no words of comfort nor insight nor anything of value to put here therefore i will be a waste of space with unabashed self indulgence.

---------------------

every so often the angsty girl in me needs a fix. ani usually does the trick. so in honor of tonight's conversation brought on by tequila, being self-absorbed and cleaning out the remainders of my undergrad life, here are the lyrics we were trying to think of...

life used to be life-like
now it's more like showbiz
i wake up in the night
and i don't know where the bathroom is
and i don't know what town i'm in
or what sky i am under
and i wake up in the darkness and i
don't have the will anymore to wonder
everyone has a skeleton
and a closet to keep it in
and your mine
every song has a you
a you that the singer sings to
and you're it this time
baby, you're it this time

when i need to wipe my face
i use the back of my hand
and i like to take up space
just because i can
and i use my dress
to wipe up my drink
i care less and less
what people think
and you are so lame
you always dissapoint me
it's kind of like our running joke
but it's really not funny
and i just want you to live up to
the image of you i create
i see you and i'm so unsatisfied
i see you and i dialate

so i'll walk the plank
and i'll jump with a smile
if i'm gonna go down
i'm gonna do it with style
and you won't see me surrender
you won't hear me confess
'cuz you've left me with nothing
but i've worked with less
and i learn every room long enough
to make it to the door
and then i hear it click shut behind me
and every key works differently
i forget everytime
and forgetting defines me
that's what defines me

when i say you sucked my brain out
the english translation
is i am in love with you
and it is no fun
but i don't use words like love
'cuz works like that don't matter
but don't look so offended
you know, you should be flattered
and i wake up in the night
in some big hotel bed
and my hands grope for the light
and my hands grope for my head
the world is my oyster
the road is my home
and i know that i'm better
off alone


hood
Leave a comment
Permanent Link